Once that dependence falls through and is shut off completely, independence reigns - to the extent that I’ve let no one else in, no one to provide that support, no one to take on the position that person once depended on held before. It’s not a bad thing, entirely. I like the fact I can look back at my accomplishments now and say that I did it all on my own. I like the fact that I don’t have the need to define myself through the dependence of someone else in my life. And I absolutely love the fact that I can just focus on myself for once. I stand on my own, I work hard, and I support myself to get to where I need to be.
I’m just used to doing things on my own. At least for right now, I’m not looking for anyone to “complete” me. I’m complete with the fact that I know who I am and I’m building myself up into the person I want to be. I’m driven by my own determination, and that’s all I really need right now.
So my apologies if it feels like I push you away, the last time I depended on someone entirely, it fell through the cracks. And I don’t need that, or any possibility of that ever happening again.
That’s just how it’s been lately, and I’m fully content with that.
For those dealing with a big break-up.
For myself.
Recovery: Being entirely dependent on one person definitely takes a toll on you.
